The Random RP

Still drowsy from just waking up, I glanced my watch... 6:34am.
"Damn... I hate this place."

I went downstairs after I got dressed, the only person in the house besides me was Jason... he was still fast asleep on the couch.

"Where the fuck is everyone? Outside probably."

I went out onto the front porch... at the other end of the street I saw the others.
What are they doing?

I walked the street to see for myself.
When I got to them... the door on the house said "Ashy, sweety I'm home."
It was something my dad always said when he got home from work.

"What the fuck?"

"I presume there's a key in there, that would unlock this door."

I nodded in agreement, "well we have to take it out first, but the question is how?"

Grabbing the flask, I smashed it into the ground, but the thing didn't even budge. I tried over and over, but nothing happened.

"Maybe it's made from one of those...sound proof glass things. The ones that don't break even if ya' shoot 'em. So how are we going to get this thing out?"

"Like hell if I know" I said coming up from behind, making someone jump.

I had just woken up when I realized no one was there, so I came out here to look for them. Sure enough they were all standing over some egg, which led me to believe they needed more sleep or something. Then I saw the door.

Welcome Home was scribbled on it, the same way my sister would write stuff.

I squinted at the door, thinking I was just seeing thing because of the alcohol last night, or my over tiredness. "Seriously whats up with the egg?" I said as I rubbed my eyes.

"I think we need heat... but how are we going to heat up this flask? And what the hell is that going to do for us?" I said, eyeing the flask with a confused expression. The water in the flask sloshed around, causing the egg to roll a bit as Benson held it.

"Maybe if we.... hmm..." I moved to take the flask, then stopped. The hole on the top was too small to get the egg through unless it was pushed through. But what would push it? We couldn't get anything else inside the flask. The whole thing seemed too weird. And what would the heat do, beside evaporate the water?

"The heat would evaporate the water." I said aloud. "But how would that help get the egg out?"

I looked down the dark hallway. Its been so long in that room....far to long. As I finally gathered the courage to push the once locked door open, I quenched my breath. The door had slid open I saw only a small hallway. I began to walk forward. The hallway began to seem smaller.

I stoped. I hadn't noticed I was holding my breath. I saw the hallway was......crooked. I gasped for air, as I coudn't hold any longer. As I began to run down the I hant noticed how much time it was taking for me to get to the end of the hall. I finaly got to the staris and hesitated to start and walk down. As the loud creek of my final step came, I looked out a near window.

''Night''. I muttered to myself. I Looked for a door. I found it down the hallway. I had stopped to admire the room. It was oddly..pleasant in comparison to the rest of the home.

Why was I here? Why for so long? I looked at myself in the mirror. I put my hand to my heart as I looked in the mirror, I felt like my heart had stopped beating. My face...it wasnt me...it was changing! Scratches began to appear followed by my skin fallling off my face. I quickey felt my face....it felt like was actually happening to me! Where was the blood? The skin? THE PAIN? I ran to the door and bashed it down with all my strength.

It was than I started to hear foot steps from the darkness of the night. I couldnt see. I was shivering from not only the abnormaly low tempuature, but also fear. It wasn't man, It couldn't be.

Dear god why? why me? why now? Tell me why I'm here!
My faith in god had sank for that very moment into the ebyss of an already dead soul. It came up to me.

Its dark blue skin glared from the moonlight. It seemed eyless, a tar like substance dripped from its eyes and a stench of racid breath as It began to smile had overcame my facial expression with disgust. Its teeth were as sharp as knifes and its mouth began to open.

''Troy, fear not for I have come for you''.

I hesitated. 'W-Who are you? why am I here?''

''Who am I, you say? Why I am a messanger''.

''Messanger?''

''Yes. Now, please'' he said while streaching his slender hand out of his dark purple-black robe. ''Come with me, for I intend to take you home.''

''But Who - What are you?''

He came closer and put his almost seemingly deseased-filled mouth close to my ear. I couldn't help but tremble.

He whispered in my ear. ''Penis''

"Penis."

I shook and shivered, and then falling on my knees I started to choke and gasp. Sweat pored down my wrinkling face, lard was leaking out of the walls, and thats when I realized...I was coughing up dicks.

"What the hell did y-"

The thing's throat opened up, slivering snakes came out screeching the same words over and over again...PENASIDE PENASIDE PENASIDE. My legs started pumping, pumping on what seemed like acid; holy shit I was high, what in God's name have i done?!

Suddenly, out of no where this horrendous creature came out of the tile ahead of me and shot lasers at me. I lost my sensibility at this and killed myself.

*cuts to an old man on a rocking chair*

"Oh, no..."

''Oh, no...'' The old man said. He returned to reading his history book.

Troy woke up from a cold sweat.

''What?''

He was in his bed, at home. Finally!

He sprung up out of his bed. He was hungry, he walked to his fridge to get some OJ. He opened the door.

''oh, thank god that was a dream''. He said whil opening his bottle of Oj.

He began to drank his OJ when suddenly, Tenticles sprouted from the bottle and crawled into his mouth! He was choking and gagging. This was no ord ernary OJ! IT WAS PENIS!

I closed my eyes and opened them again. It was just a dream...again.

"Don't worry Troy meh boy I'm going over there to keep you company."

An old man came trotting towards me, getting in my covers to cuddle with me. I started to shake, until I finally muttered, "w-who are you?"

The old man grinned, taking off his pants, "my name? My name is...NICK ENO!" He pierced me with his dick, which happened to have the face of a Canadian that had a liking for Aliens and Chuck.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I started running, until I bumped into this kid with hair to long. I looked up to speak to the lady, but it wasn't a lady it was a dude. He had a slipknot shirt on, with a zombie guide for dummies in his hand. He took the book and hit me in the face until I flew into the arms of this gargantuan kid.

"HI MY NAME IS ALICE AND IM GOING TO SAVE YOU YAY!" he started running with me in the meadow and thats when I knew...he was going to rape me.

Suddenly, the floor cracked. A repulsive, incomprensible mass emerged from the broken tiles, showering the area with slime. It advanced on the unfortunate man, Troy, dripping ooze from several vile maws lining its sides, numerous, mismatched eye focusing on it prey.

The front of its body opened, revealing another horrific mouth. The mouth swung open wide, revealing rows and rows of teeth.

Then, it spoke in a voice terrifying enough to chill the bones of the bravest humans.

"IT."

"IS."

"LIKE."

"A MUTHAFUCKING DISCO, BABY!" it shouted, before nodding in approval, bursting into flames, and sliding screaming from the house.

"DISCO?!"

The thing that called itself Annox, jumped into the air and sat on the thing that burst into flames. Everything was silent, the disco was somewhere, and I had to find out where...another time though.

Suddenly I heard a tune...a similar tune played the day I was born out of the grotesque womb of the most unlikeable mother a baby could ever have been featured to.

"Tomb King has 21 friiiieeenndss, Tomb King has 21-"

The song stopped, and i could only ask, "21 what?"

"21, FRANKS!"

21 Franks came out of no where gutting the fat kid Annox into a bloody pulp, the only thing that Annox could say was, "WHAT THE FWAP IS GOING ON WHAT IN THE FWAP IS GOING OOOO-" and then he died.

The Franks looked at me and I started to run as fast as I could, until Alice got in my way; he asked me a question, "so uhh, can you post?"

But I ran past him as the Franks gutted him up too. Thats when I noticed there was only two ways, back where the Franks were, or in the Alley way where the old man Nick Eno was, telling me to come over there to him and his dick he called Ray. The choice was hard, but I had to make one quick or else I too would be the result of an unfortunate bad story plot...

Suddenly, the heavens were wrenched open. A single beam on light shined down upon Troy, seeming to shield him from all evil and harm. Troy's eveys watered at the beauty. His eyes also watered.

A massive hand descended from the heavens, and extended its middle finger at the man, before retreating back into the clouds.

Then, the walls started to close in on Troy! The were wielding M16s and lightsabres, and laughing maniacly as they advanced on the defenseless man.

BUT! Suddenly Troy´s massive stone balls grew fists and punched the walls away, laughing until finally they realized they were on steroids and shrunk back to small balls of nothing.

Troy began to sprint backwards towards his home, but the house only exploded to reveal....OH MY GOD IT WAS CHUCK NORRIS!! OH SHIT.

Troy shit himself and started running away, but before Chuck could do anything River Tam with her giant foot squished Chuck. River retreated back into her denizens laughing.

Troy the realized he was stuck in the Warp. BUt not just the warp, the Warp´s evil twin called The W-warp!

What will Troy do now?