Captin Qwark

Copernicus Leslie Qwark, or Captain Qwark, who had also gone under many aliases, was a fraudulent "superhero" from the Solana Galaxy. At one point he attended the Kerwan learning annex. Although he was thought by most of the galactic populace to be a hero of the people, he was actually a greedy coward who would do anything, no matter how immoral, to get publicity or money (though since the end of Up Your Arsenal he had became much more moral despite being no less cowardly). He was also known to be somewhat stupid, and didn't realize when he was being tricked or used. Besides overblowing theatrics to make himself seem more heroic to the general public, the only thing he seemed to be good at was piloting ships. He wore green tights with a blue stripe down the middle and a blue and black atom with a lightning bolt that vaguely resembled the letter Q. He also wore a yellow belt on his waist and had an antenna on his head. Initially, Qwark was portrayed as the greatest hero of all time, however, he was nothing more than a "pretty-boy," endorsement fiend who received credit for acts of bravery that he had nothing to do with. He was known to double-cross his allies and work with short villains, serving both Chairman Drek and Emperor Tachyon.

Qwark in Ratchet & Clank:
In Ratchet & Clank, Qwark was first seen on a poster in Ratchet's Garage and Ratchet mentioned that he was on the radio every week. As Ratchet and Clank flew away from Veldin, Drek was commanding a shadowy figure (Qwark) to "take care" of the two. Qwark had also recorded an Infobot commercial for Al's Roboshack (in which he did not let Al get a word in). Also in the advert he was seen 'fighting' his pet Blargian Snagglebeast with a defective weapon.

When Ratchet and Clank went to Metropolis they found a Qwark-Bot introducing his Qwark Training Course. They then met Helga who claimed that Qwark knows about them. When the two won the Hoverboard Race at Blackwater City, Qwark appeared on a screen awarding the prize to Ratchet (although it was probably a recording, as a computer voice said the names). The two also met Qwark in person here, in his trailer after bribing his Bouncer. Qwark explained that he knows who they were and that he knew about Drek's plans. He then gave Ratchet an Infobot for his HQ on planet Umbris.

In the infobot Qwark explained his training course and got tongue-twisted. The two arrived and Qwark met them in his helicopter with a mega-phone telling the pair they had to complete his training course. The two completed the course and Qwark was waiting for them and tricks them into stepping onto a trap door, depositing them in the Blargian Snagglebeast's pit, where Qwark revealed his plans: He was the spokesman for Drek's new planet and he didn't want Ratchet and Clank getting in the way.

Unfortunately for him they survived and escaped, much to Drek's dismay. The next time we see Qwark, Drek wanted him to confront Ratchet and Clank. Drek led him to his personal shuttle and Qwark thought it was a photoshoot, but Drek told him he had to take the shuttle (which was as small as Drek) and to use Drek's Starfighter at the Gemlik Base. He made him use it as Drek claimed Qwark was too washed up for ground combat.

Qwark fired mines and torpedos at Ratchet and made confident taunting comments to Ratchet. Eventually Ratchet defeated Qwark, shooting him down to planet Oltanis. Qwark apparently took a job selling Gadgetron gadgets under the name of "Steve McQwark" (although he didn't wear a disguise so it was obvious it was him). He met Ratchet on Oltanis and Qwark pretended he never met him before, but nearly gave away his identity when he said "Qwarktastic". He sold Ratchet the PDA.

Qwark was later in a commercial advertising the Personal Hygenator, he demonstrated its uses which were apparently quite gruesome.


Qwark in R & C: Going Commando:
In Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando, Qwark didn't appear very often, but he was very much in the plot. He was first seen in the Behind the Hero series of the Bogon Galaxy, in which it claimed that after Qwark was humiliated by Ratchet and Clank he started selling defective gadgets which he claimed were Gadgetron products, mentioning the Personal Hygienator. The authorities were then alerted to Qwark's scam and he was taken to court.

In court he was ordered to pay 6,000,000,000 bolts to everyone suffering from Personal Hygenator Syndrome, and responded by attempting to flee to Pokitaru. He was found once again and placed in jail, but he escaped before his trial by flushing himself down the toilet. There were then many speculations about what happened to him since he escaped, although no one had actually knowingly seen him.

Near the end of the game the Female Infobot showed up at the Protopet factory to warn Ratchet and Clank, showing them a clip of Qwark pretending to be "Steve McQwark" (and now wearing a fake pink moustache) selling another Personal Hygienator and claiming that he now had enough to finance the return of Captain Qwark and claimed he was going to save the Bogon Galaxy from the Protopet menace. It was then revealed that he had been disguised as Mr. Fizzwidget all this time, and had created the Protopet so as to terrorize the inhabitants of the galaxy and then save them.

He then went live on TV and claimed that the Protopet outbreak was a plot engineered by Ratchet, Clank and Angela's, and tried to fix the Protopets' monstrous nature using Angela's Helix-O-Morph, but it went wrong and turned the protopet into a giant mutant which swallowed Qwark whole. The others then fought it and defeated it making it spit out Qwark and the Helix-O-Morph. It then turned out that the Helix-O-Morph's batteries were in backwards, making Qwark say a very innocent "Oops".

After everything was fixed he took up a job at Megacorp working as a test dummy. He was shown talking to other Test-Bots and then being called in for a Crotchitizer testing. He was then strapped onto the wall and he asked the test-bots if they tested it and remembered why he was there. The game ended with the Crotchitizer going towards Qwark and him screaming in pain.


Qwark in R & C: Up Your Arsenal:
In Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal, a glimpse looking like Qwark was first seen on Nature's Mysteries, telling the story of the Florana Tree Beast, with stories from an inhabitant of Florana, claiming to have seen it "run right our campsite, 'buck nekked', and holdin' a bananer". When Ratchet and Clank arrived at Florana looking for the "Tree Beast" they found the creature with a mask on and his costume torn in some places and what appeared to be a tattoo down his left shoulder, along with being accompanied by a monkey. He accused Ratchet and Clank of "trespassing on sacred ground, and that they now must walk the "Path of Death", an obstacle course.

Once they completed it Ratchet and Clank tried to get an answer out of the beast, hoping it would tell them about Dr. Nefarious. When all the Tree Beast would say was "Hrrrnnggg?", Ratchet claimed "this guy is as stupid as...", and before he finished his sentence, Skrunch the monkey pulled off its mask revealing its face to Clank who realized who the beast really was finishing Ratchet's sentence by gasping "Captain Qwark". Qwark had apparently gone mad and forgotten everything after retreating to the Florana jungles. Qwark attacked them and Ratchet and Clank defeated him, making him think Ratchet was his new leader as Qwark's mask fell on Ratchet's face. The four then squeezed into Ratchet's ship and were told to go to the Starship Phoenix.

When they arrived, Qwark and Skrunch were put in a cage to keep them safe. Later on Ratchet and Clank returned from a mission with a Qwark vid-comic, and played it in front of him. This jolted Qwark's memory and he had a flashback and suddenly turned back into his self obsessed character and claiming that this cage was a rubbish dressing room not fit for a pig. While Ratchet and Clank were away on a mission, Qwark took control of the Starship Phoenix from Captain Sasha, as he had faced Dr. Nefarious before and felt he had superior capabilities. He then took the most qualified people he knew that were still on his side and assembled the Q-Force.

When Ratchet and Clank returned, Qwark introduced them to the Q-Force which consisted of Captain Qwark, Skrunch, Al, Skid McMarx, Helga, Sasha, Ratchet, and Clank. He then set up a new mission for Ratchet and Clank and showed them a crayon drawn plan on lined paper explaining that he would humbly step aside for this mission and let Ratchet and Clank take it. He decided to send them to Aquatos in an attempt to infiltrate Dr. Nefarious' Deep Sea Base. With that, Qwark took up a place in the main seat of the Phoenix Control Room from then on. When Ratchet and Clank returned Qwark had another mission for them as he wanted them to go to Tyhrranosis. He showed them the plan and convinced them that, although Ratchet was doing all the work, that it was still a team effort, as when Ratchet asked what the others would be doing, Qwark explained they would be rooting for and monitoring him, and quietly revealed to Helga that they would be in the Lunch Cafe on deck five, as it was meatloaf day.

Throughout the game, Qwark also used the intercom frequently, warning Ratchet to change into his "Regulation Green Q-Force Tights" before he wrote the Lombax up for a dress-code violation, activating the Phoenix's auto-destruct sequence, and congratulating Skrunch on his promotion to Chief Science Officer over Al.

Ratchet and Clank went on to defeat the Momma Thyrranoid on Tyhrranosis. When the fight was over, Qwark arrived just in time with Darla Gratch ready for an interview. Qwark took the credit and claimed he couldn't do it without his "iron hard" abs. After several more missions, Clank was kidnapped and replaced with Klunk who told them that Nefarious was aboard a ship called the Leviathan, later revealed to be refueling at the Zeldrin Starport. Ratchet, Klunk, Qwark and Skrunch went to the starport and took a Q-Force shuttle to Nefarious' ship while it was refueling. After a comically disastrous short journey to the ship, they arrived.

Qwark claimed that another of his brilliant schemes had worked. Once the four had reached the cockpit, they discovered Nefarious, who had tricked them, started the self-destruct sequence and teleported away. While Ratchet, Klunk and Skrunch started to escape, Qwark ran to the Leviathan's dashboard, claiming he saw something he "couldn't leave without" and that he would meet them back at the shuttle. The three made it to the back, where Ratchet sat patiently waiting for Qwark when Klunk started the ship, leaving Qwark behind as there was "no time left". The cruiser then crashed on planet Zeldrin, presumably killing Qwark.

When Ratchet, Klunk and Skrunch returned, the Q-Force gave Qwark a memorial service and Helga claimed they would frolic in the obstacle course, in the wee hours of ze morning. When it came to Ratchet, all he could say was he was really tall, had an unique fashion sense and he had a chin shaped like a butt. The President offered his touching condolences, with Klunk writing it off as a load of bullsh-. Later on Ratchet, Clank, who had been rescued by Ratchet, and Skrunch went to the Crash Site on Planet Zeldrin to look for what Qwark went back for. The three then found an escape shuttle with a data disk and Clank found a message from Qwark dressed as a woman and asking for a taxi and promising more bolts to keep it secret. He also asked the Taxi Driver if he had replacement batteries for a pocket Crotchitizer.

When the three returned to the Phoenix they decided not to tell the Q-Force and were suspicious of Qwark as they recalled his alliance with Chairman Drek and the Protopet menace. During his time decoding the datadisk, Al found a secret Vid-comic in Qwark's quarters and gave it to Ratchet to play. It revealed Qwarks Secret HQ on the Thran Asteroid. Ratchet, Clank and Skrunch traveled there and after battling through the waves of Qwark's defenses, such as his Qwark-Bots, and when they arrived at his quarters, guarded by a forcefield, they made their way in and confronted Qwark.

Qwark was in his bedroom and dressed in his pajamas. Skrunch went in first and Qwark asked how Skrunch found him. Ratchet and Clank arrived and Qwark explained that he ran away after realizing he could have died and claimed the universe could not live without Captain Qwark. Enraged and disgusted with Qwark's selfishness and cowardice, Ratchet verbally attacked him and walked away, but Clank stopped and told Qwark that he had a chance to redeem himself and become the hero he always wanted to be. Upon their departure, Qwark looked at his suit, considering Clank's words.

Later on, Ratchet and Clank confronted Nefarious and when it'd come to stopping the Biobliterator launch sequence, Nefarious transformed it into a massive mech. Qwark came screaming in on his shuttle, resulting in a team-up between him and the two, who boarded a nearby Hovership. Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark eventually defeated Nefarious and Qwark was very much redeemed after his previous actions. Qwark was present at the premiere of the new Secret Agent Clank movie with Skrunch.


Qwark in R & C: Future: Tools of Destruction:
In Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction, Qwark appeared on the opening giving a distress call to Ratchet and Clank, telling them he was under attack by a few thousand heavily armed robotic commandos that were attacking Metropolis. The duo headed for the defence centre, fighting the attack along the way. When they got there, they listened to his answer machine and then got attacked by Emperor Percival Tachyon's army of Drophyds.

Later when the duo were exploring Fastoon, they received a Holo-vite from Qwark using an alias. When Ratchet repaired Aphelion, he then asked her if she would play it for them. Qwark then told them about the Imperial Fight Festival. When Ratchet and Clank landed at Mukow, they met Qwark at the arena where he gave Ratchet a disguise (a fake moustache). After Ratchet beat the arena challenges, Qwark congratulated the duo and told them they reminded him when he was a young fighter. Ratchet asked Qwark to tell him why he was working for Tachyon. Qwark told him that it was just a little thing he liked to call 'saving the universe'. He then made up a pathetic story about what he did back on Kerwan.

Later on Sargasso after talking to the Plumber, Qwark contacted them asking where they had been and told that he needed them at the arena right away. After beating the next IFF challenges, Qwark congratulated them and pretended they were strangers giving Ratchet the Holo-Pirate Disguise and Clank a new copy of his exercise book, Body By Qwark. He gave them an Infobot he found in Tachyon's underwear drawer and they watched a show about IRIS on the Polaris Compendium of Historical Importantness. After a while, the duo headed to Zordoom Prison when Clank was trying to convince Ratchet that the Dimensionator had to be destroyed. Qwark asked if he called at a bad time and showed the duo a pathetic drawing of Zordoom Prison and said to infiltrate it. According to Qwark, Ratchet, codenamed "dead meat", had to travel on the grind rail of certain death, traverse the walkway of tortured souls and ascend into the mouth of the jellied Jackyl while fighting Zombie Ninja Panda Bears. After they got out of the prison, Qwark contacted Ratchet, telling him he managed to steal coordinates to Kerchu City right off of Tachyon's personal computer. Later after the duo defeated Captain Slag on the Ublik Passage, Qwark came and took the Dimensionator, telling them that he was showing the universe that he was a superhero and said he was going to hurl the Dimensionator into a black hole. Later on Reepor, he was seen pinned down by Tachyon who threatened and insulted him that he would take care of his deceitfulness later by calling him a half wit when he said another stupid thing. Meanwhile in Meridian City, when the duo were fighting off the Cragmite attack, Qwark sent multiple distress calls to Ratchet and Clank, telling them that he was being held by Tachyon. When they released him, he acted depressed as he said "I don't deserve these rock hard abs, these chiseled features, these impeccable glutes and bulbous buttocks! I'm no super hero, I'm captain Qwark no more.". Ratchet then told him to get a hold of himself. After Ratchet had defeated Tachyon, Rusty Pete tried to teach Qwark to speak like a pirate, but did it pathetically, making Pete say 'how did you ever become the captain of anything'. When he tried it one more time, Pete said "I'm gonna need more grog". At the end, Clank was taken by the Zoni and Qwark fell into a deep sadness, along with and everybody else as they were all wondering what would happen to Clank.

Aliases:
Steve McQwark
Stefan Qwarkanopolus
Finnegan O'Qwarksalot
Walter Qwarkowski
Herschel Qwarkenstein
John Quincy Qwark
Lucius Von Qwark
Shirley Bigguns
Florana Tree Beast
Strong Jaw
Abercrombie Fizzwidget

Titels:
Captin Qwark

Other:
Subject 23A